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Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Big Changes Ahead!

Having to put your father into a care home is the hardest thing to do, only days left before he goes, difficult and sad times. He's been in the same house for over fifty years and used to his surroundings – he can hardly see and being taken to a new and huge environment is going to be daunting and frightening for him. I don't want strangers looking after him, if only I could do this myself I would. Hopefully these 'strangers' will become familiar and caring to him, as I'm sure they will. I think I have picked a good care home in Heacham and even though I have not met the manager of the home yet, he sounds very, very caring and understanding when I spoke to him on the phone. As a family we have no choice about this situation. My mother has been amazing, well that's an understatement, I don't how she has coped for this long and with so little sleep. She is the strongest woman I know, far stronger than me, both mentally and physically, but over the last few months has become weaker and weaker in every sense. Sadly she is in the middle of a breakdown and unable to cope efficiently anymore. I had to take control and convince her that father had to go in a home now, even though selfishly I didn't want that myself. If she had carried on, she would have been departing this earth before father and then he would have to go into a home anyway. So it makes total sense to do what we are doing. My poor father can't walk and can hardly see, but this way at least Mother will be able to rest, sleep and then try and have some quality of life. She has become institutionalised in her own home. At least now when she is ready, I will be able to take her birding with me now – I would love that! Can't see her walking Blakeney Point though!

Social Services have not exactly made things easy – some people I have spoken to have been brilliant, others not, if I told you the entire story, we'd be here all night! Its been very, very difficult to find out what we need to know, search for homes, read CQC reports, asking around for advice etc etc. Next we have the big issue of getting father out of the house, both physically and mentally – he won't go quietly and this is going to be more difficult than him passing away peacefully – this may sound awful, but that's how I feel. Trying to sort this all when you are working full time is also very, very stressful.

I have to order some name labels tomorrow and part of the weekend will be spent ironing them onto all father's clothes to go with him. Will be assisting Mother to sort everything at the weekend and pack father's things, so I hope no Mega's turn up!!! Anyone that has emailed recently and in the next week or two, will have to bare with me re replying promptly – sorry but this won't be happening!

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